


Matters

by mydeira



Series: Something Maybe 'Verse [20]
Category: Torchwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-09
Updated: 2011-07-09
Packaged: 2017-10-21 05:06:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydeira/pseuds/mydeira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwen confronts Jack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matters

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: through “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang
> 
> Disclaimer: I’m still neither RTD nor the BBC, just exorcising bunnies.
> 
> A/N: Follows At Your Party and replaces the scene between Jack and Gwen in the middle of “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang”. Part twenty in the Something Maybe ‘Verse.

Gwen could feel Jack’s eyes on her. Watching her more than the rest of the team. Whoever she was talking to or whatever she was doing, all she had to do was look up and she’d catch him. No shame at all. But that was Jack, wasn’t it?

Finally she’d had enough and cornered him in the hallway outside the cells while everyone else was busy dealing with Captain John Hart.

“Out with it, Jack.”

At least he had the decency to look chagrined. “I came back for you, and you don’t need me.”

With someone else, the “you” could have been her or the team. However with Jack, she knew it was both.

“You swanned off without a word, Jack. What were we supposed to do? Sit by idly and wait? For months?” The words came out less heated than she thought they would.

Jack held out his hands in supplication. “I did what I had to.”

“And so did we.”

“Is that why you ditched Rhys and shacked up with Owen?”

He was already cradling his cheek by the time Gwen registered the fact that she had slapped him.

“You don’t get to judge me, Jack Harkness! Not now. Not bloody ever again.” Her palm still stung. She wished she’d punched him instead. “My personal life was never any of your business.”

“You didn’t used to mind.” Whatever shock he might have experienced had quickly abated and he now wore his “I always roll with the punches”, half-amused smirks. It was infuriating and insufferable and, god, how she’d missed it. Even bastard Jack was better than no Jack at all.

“I think I was a bit distracted with the aliens and the Rift and the world ending on a near daily basis. You meddling was the least of my worries,” she added wryly, still angry but in control again. “Why me, Jack? You never fuss about Tosh. Or Owen, unless I figure in. At least with Ianto you have a vested interest. But I’m no one.”

“You were of the world,” he stated simply, just the barest hint of vulnerability showing. “It’s too easy to get caught up in this place. Lose touch with reality.”

“I didn’t choose Torchwood. You brought me in.”

“Gwen, you wouldn’t stay away. It was either bring you in or, well, seeing as the Retcon didn’t work…”

“Cold storage next to Suzie?” He flinched and she enjoyed it too much. “No, I would have been just like that porter. Another unexplained disappearance and death.”

“I wouldn’t have killed you.”

“No?”

“No.”

She almost believed him.

“You’re standing here now. That should be answer enough.”

“You were gone for months on end, disappeared without a word. And all you can say is you met your Doctor and saw the end of the universe.” Gwen ticked the points off on her fingers. “You get a holographic message and race off without a word to us. Again. And then,” she really hated when her voice went up like that, “then Captain John Hart appears. An old mate of yours, going on about being Time Agents. None of which we, your team, your friends, know anything about because you insist on being an enigma!” She breathed deeply. So much for calming down. “There’s never a straight answer from you. I don’t know why I bother.”

“Because it’s the mystery that drives us. If we had all the answers, what would be the point?”

“I’m not asking for all. Just some. Hell, I’ll settle for one answer. One’s not much, is it?”

“It’s not,” he agreed, then looked at her expectantly.

“What?”

He gave her the look. The one that made you want to do anything and everything to make certain he never stopped. “One question, Gwen. No evasions or enigma. A straight answer to the best of my ability.”

“I can ask anything, and you’ll answer it. Completely? Truthfully?”

Jack nodded.

“Shit,” she muttered, floored. This was one of those chance in a lifetime, philosophical what if situations that you were never, ever supposed to get. She hated those games. Finally, she looked at him dead on and asked, “Why did you come back? Really?”

“That’s what you want to know?” Ever the flirt.

“Yes, Jack. That’s my question.”

“I came back because it’s not until you lose everything that you realize what matters.”

An answer that wasn’t an answer. Typical. She opened her mouth to protest.

“I’m not finished.” He grinned. “Give a guy a break. I wasn’t exactly on vacation.”

“Fine, go on.”

Jack looked tired, older somehow, but not physically. “What matters is right here. This place and what we try to do in the world, it matters. Sometimes we might make things worse, occasionally we make them better. But what matters is that we try. As long as we try, there’s hope. And hope is worth more than you’ll ever know.” His eyes danced. “That’s the big answer.”

“There’s a not big answer?”

“Yup, laughter.”

“Laughter?” Daft as ever. She had missed him.

“Your laughter, how it takes over your whole body. Toshiko and Ianto’s; they’re normally so reserved but when they are overcome, lost in the moment and not caring about anything else…” He smiled fondly. “And Owen, when it’s true and genuine and you can see the heart he tries so hard to hide.”

Gwen’s lips curled in response. There were worse reasons, she supposed. And it made sense in a Jack-like—no, a very human way. “Looks like you’re one of us after all.”

“Oh?”

She nodded. “Thank you, Jack. For being honest.”

“It’s not something I’ve ever really been particularly good at,” he admitted. “Not for a long time.”

They stood there in silence. They weren’t okay and she doubted they ever really would be, but it was a start. She could forgive but not forget.

“Come on,” she said, “we should get back. Make certain the captain hasn’t been causing trouble.”

“I’m sure Ianto has him under control.”

“He probably does.”

She started back up, but Jack’s quiet, “Gwen?” made her hesitate.

“Yes, Jack?”

“Why Owen?” The lack of accusation was welcome.

He had been honest with her; she owed him the same. “Because we work, even when we don’t.”

Jack frowned, considering. “I get that.”

“It wouldn’t matter if you didn’t.” She softened the words with a smile.

At the doorway, she glanced back at him. “And for the record, Rhys ditched me. I was too big of a coward to do it the other way around.”

Before Jack could respond, she hurried up into the Hub proper. No point in dwelling on what was past when there was a rogue captain to sort out.


End file.
